The Santa Rosa Squeedunks didn’t organize a July 4th parade in 1909, probably still exhausted by their magnificent display of hooey the previous year. But our Charlie Holmes, president of the Ancient and Disreputable Order of Squeedunks, helped pass the torch – and probably some of their ill-fitting women’s garb – to the auxillary chapter in Sebastopol. The two groups conspired at a mid-June summit (“there was much solemn deliberation as to the amount of bale rope necessary to make a good parade,” the Press Democrat reported) and a couple of wagon loads of goddess-knows-what rattled over to Sebastopol the morning of the parade.
The Sebastopol festivities are of interest because the town coordinated with Graton, which was the usual place Sonoma County celebrated the Fourth of July, with Graton holding its customary big celebration a day later, on Tuesday, July 5. Sebastopol’s celebration also ended with a parachute jump from a balloon by “Professor Hamilton.” Gentle reader may recall that Hamilton’s exhibition jump at Santa Rosa the previous year didn’t go so well, with the Prof. crashing through the skylight of a funeral home.
THE SQUEEDUNKS AT SEBASTOPOL
Monday night a delegation of the Ancient and Disreputable Order of Squeedunks boarded the electric car at Sebastopol and came over to Santa Rosa to confer with Charles Orator Holmes, William Henry Harrison Rohrer, society editor of “The Truthful Lyre,” and Ed Rohrer, noblest of the Squeedunks. There was much solemn deliberation as to the amount of bale rope necessary to make a good parade, the latest and most showy directories to be worn by up to date Squeedunks, and as to whether Holmes, the orator of the Squeedunks at Sebastopol, should be limitless to time in his address or not. The matters were all gone into thoroughly and decisions will be announced later. The names of the Sebastopol members of the order composing the executive board are:
Abbertus Evermont Finnelll, Huber Baxter Scudder, William Sebastian Borba, Vivian Lambert Berry, Abraham Cheescloth Anthony, George Never Faught, Jack Solo Woodyard, Fred Bee Woodbee, Hal Playwright Morrison.– Press Democrat, June 15, 1909
THE “SQUEEDUNKS” TO BE THERE, TOO
Big Bill of Amusement on the Fourth of July at Sebastopol all Day on Monday
The people of Santa Rosa, Petaluma, and all over the county are going to show the people of Sebastopol what a crowd is on Monday, when they take the town by storm to enjoy the big celebration honoring the Fourth of July…Charles H. Holmes of Santa Rosa, president of the Ancient and Disreputable Order of Squeedunks, is to deliver the “oration” and has it all prepared. The Squeedunks will have a parade, and it will contain the usual number of amusing “takeoffs.” Some of the Santa Rosa members of the order will assist in this part of the program.– Press Democrat, July 3, 1909
The following proclamation has been issued by Charles H. Holmes for tomorrow:
“Monday morning about 8:30 the grand keeper of the bale rope and oyster cans of the Squeedunks will leave Santa Rosa for Sebastopol with two rigs to assist the brethren of that amous city to celebrate the Natal Day. He will parade Fourth street and pick up any of the order here intending to visit Sebastopol and assist in the celebration. All interested take notice.”– Press Democrat, July 4, 1909
SPLENDID CELEBRATION AT SEBASTOPOL MONDAY
Gold Ridge City Entertained Many Hundreds of People Then
Sebastopol celebrated in regal style on Monday, the legal holiday, and hundreds of people went from this city to the Gold Ridge metropolis to spend the day there with the enterprising people of that community.
The Squeeduncks parade at 5 o’clock gave some interesting take-offs on the various things pertaining to the town, among them being the lighting system, the water works, a high school building without a foundation, which was put on as a little josh on the architect, and other things. Charles Holmes was in charge of this portion of the festivities of the day, ably assisted by Bert Finnell.
[..]– Santa Rosa Republican, July 6, 1909