Okay, it’s 1904 and you’re told that your daughter has committed suicide in San Francisco. Even if there was no easy telephone connectivity at the time, couldn’t a message be sent via telegraph, or even messenger via train and ferry, to verify that she was actually, you know, dead, before buying a coffin and publishing the obit? ‘Guess not. Mabel surely ended up with an anecdote of legendary proportions, as well as a nifty coffee table. Also note that her name turned into “Bertha” in the headline.

CASKET MADE FOR LIVE GIRL

Miss Bertha Wilson Appears in the Flesh to Check Grief Over Her Suicide

Miss Mabel Wilson, a very much alive young lady of Petaluma, whose parents reside in Ukiah, has the distinction of having had a casket made and all funeral preliminaries prepared for her. Just whether she is intending to keep the casket as a souvenir or not she has not informed her friends.

A certain Miss Mabel Wilson committed suicide in San Francisco. As Miss Wilson of Petaluma was at that time visiting in the metropolis, it was feared that she might have been the despondent one who committed the rash deed. From circumstances surrounding the case the Petaluma Miss Wilson’s sister was quite sure that it was she and the fact was published in a Petaluma paper. Heart broken Wilson pere purchased a casket in Ukiah and sent a Ukiah officer to San Francisco to procure the remains and bring them to that city.

In the meantime the missing Miss Wilson materialized and whether she was more surprised at being dead or her friends and relatives were more surprised at her being alive is a mooted question.

– Santa Rosa Republican, September 30, 1904

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Apparently one American out of two million drops dead from varicose vein problems in their legs. Who knew? Forewarned is forearmed! (Or forelegged, or four legged, or…never mind)

LOST CONSIDERABLE BLOOD
George C. Day Meets With a Peculiar Accident on Thursday

While engaged in blacking his shoes in the rear of C. A. Wright & Co.’s store on Thursday morning, George C. Day, the well known assistant in that store for many years, met with a peculiar accident. A varicose vein in his leg suddenly burst and he lost a considerable quantity of blood before it was staunched. With a towel wound tightly around the open vein Mr. Day went hurriedly to a physician’s office and was given medical attention. He was then removed to his rooms, being very weak from the loss of life fluid. The vein had troubled him for several years and on account of this he had worn an elastic stocking. The strain of the bent knee while the shoe blacking was in progress caused the severing of the vein. Mr. Day’s many friends hope that he will soon be able to resume his duties. He will have to rest easily for a short time. The accident on Thursday morning naturally alarmed him considerably.

– Press Democrat, April 22, 1904

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A lady walking along Fourth street yesterday morning nearly had a serious fall as the result of slipping upon a piece of orange peel on the sidewalk. In at least a dozen places on Fourth street orange peel was noticed yesterday and almost any day the same thing can be seen. There is an ordinance providing punishment for the offense, and it is the intention of the police to enforce the same.

– Press Democrat news item, April 16, 1904

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